Death and Assassination
by BlackTheta
Summary: Dropped into the world of Bleach I try to not only help out, but bring some change as well. Of course, no one said I had to fight all my enemies honestly and to their face. I love being a bastard. Shameless self-insert. Don't like it? Don't read it.


**Death and Assassination**

"Speaking"

" _Hollow Speaking_ "

 **'Thought'**

 **"** _ **Zanpakuto Speaking**_ **"**

I do not own Bleach nor anything affiliated with it.

* * *

 **'If I EVER find out who dropped me here... I swear I will punch them in the face.'**

These were my second thoughts as I walked down the main drive in Karakura town. Thats right, Karakura. The central location of the anime series Bleach. To put it in perspective; I am, or at least was, a 25 year old carpenter by trade in Canada who had his own business and was doing quite well for himself.

Not to mention that my FIRST thought when I figured out where I was happened to be, **'I am soooo fucked.'**

As I passed various shops and other buildings I also noted that my apperance had changed as well. I used to be 6"3' with dark brown hair and a short beard along with a bit of girth and some muscle to balance it thanks to my work.

Now? Now I look like Renji and Nanao had a kid that was raised by Ikkaku.

I am now 5"10' with dark crimson hair (as in Renji-with-a-head-wound crimson) down to my shoulders in Nanao's hairstyle along with a very slight build that looked like it was MADE to fight, and win. I was dressed in a red long sleave shirt with black jeans and white sneakers.

Oh, and I am also physically 16 again and can speak/write/understand Japanese. (Dear lord above, why do I have to deal with the hormones again?!)

Of course, this is all over a year ago. Since then I have managed to get enrolled in Karakura High (Thankfully in Ichigo's class), a place to live (A nearby motel), and a successful furniture repair business on the side by using my previous skills. (Hollow attacks tend to break shit, who knew?) Oh and I can also see ghosts now.

By the way, if any of you ever felt that the 'seeing ghosts' thing would be 'cool', allow me to correct that assumption by saying this.

It. Is. A. Pain. In. The. Ass.

MY GOD! (Gods? Theres more than one 'Death God' afterall.) Every ghost that has figured out I can see them automatically seems to think I give a damn about their problems! Not to mention the less said about the privacy issues the better.

But, other than that, I have also been working on my martial arts (Muay Tai) and my combat skills with a sharpened 8 1/2 inch combat knife I bought at a pawn shop (see profile for a picture link). This is done with the intention of interfearing with the set canon timeline.

Why? Because I can, thats why.

A bonus from my martial arts though is that I managed to get aquainted with Tatsuki, and through her Ichigo. Speaking of Ichigo...

"Yo Ichigo! Think you can make it through the week without picking a fight strawberry?" I say jokingly as I make my way over to him.

"Shut up Theta, your hair is darker than mine anyway." He grumbles back in his usual scowl. He is standing in a ring of about 4 thugs that are all unconcious on the ground.

Thats my current name by the way, Theta Bailey. "Huh, haven't seen these guys before. They new in town?" I asked.

"Yea. Assholes thought they would try to mug me." He said without a single change in expression.

"Well, I guess they won't be trying that again any time soon. Did you call ambulances for them?" I questioned amused. It was evidently one of his favorite intimidation tactics.

"Yea. Should be here soon." He said in annyance.

"Guess we should hurry to school then." I say in a fake chipper voice.

"Shut up"

As it turns out, my usual route to school took me right by the Kurosaki clinic and I never noticed. When I found this out, I simply altered when I left and suddenly I can usually be found chatting with Ichigo on the way to school. It has allowed me to not only have an excuse to get involved in future events, but we have also developed a relationship that is a sort of cross between the ones he gets with Chad and Uryu.

"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIcccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggggggoooo-"

Care to guess who this is?

*WHAM*

"Hey Keigo." He absently says to the Idiot on the pavement.

"Ah, good mourning Ichigo." Greets Firebug while standing on the idiots head.

"Yo Mizuiro." He returns.

"You know Strawberry, if you and Firebug keep doing this to Idiot you both may give him brain damage and make him worse." I say in good humor.

No matter how many times I witness this it will never get old. Of course my comment actually causes them to both look at me, blink, look at each other, blink again, then look down at Keigo. They then both turn to me and say in complete unison, "What brain?" and after Keigo's pitiful little pity party we head to class.

"Chad, Tatsuki, Inoue, Chizuru." Greets Ichigo, and they greet him back.

"Golem, Amazon, Squirrely, Stalker." I also greet respectivly.

"Ugh, are you ever going to give up on those stupid nicknames?" Groans Tatsuki.

"Why would I? You are the only one who actually seems to complain." I ask petulently.

"Thats only because Chad won't, Chizuru can't deny it, and Orihime is... well... Orihime." She says, unable to come up with anything else.

"I notice that you've said absolutely nothing to counter my arguement." I point out.

She quickly comes up with "What about Ichigo?"

"Point." I concede. "But I'm not the one who came up with that one. You did, and it stuck, so it doesn't count."

Tatsuki mumbles something along the lines of "Bastard" but then has to beat down Chizuru again because she is trying to grope Inoue, again. Once the usual comedy show has finished the day then proceeds as normal.

After school, its getting late as Ichigo and I are heading back when He suddenly turns down a side street off his usual route.

"Heading to see the girl again huh?" I ask.

"Yea."

"Might as well go with you, gods know your probubly going to get into a fight again." I sigh.

As we are heading down the side road we see the four thugs from before chatting with each other, thats when I notice it, the bottle of flowers for the little girl has been tipped over. Suddenly Ichigo rushes in and downs one of them with a swift kick to the back.

"Oi!" The leader yells. "Who the hell are you?! Nobody comes in and puts down one of my boys like that!"

 **'Episode 1 has arrived, looks like I'm packing my knife from now on but I'll wait untill Uryu to interfear. Also, why is the pavement cracking and not his head?'**

The encounter goes as expected after that. Once we had continued on our way I couldn't help but say, "Told you that you would get into another fight strawberry."

"Go to hell Theta." He grumbles.

"Nah, been there. The Devil kicked me out because he was afraid I'd take over, later." I retort as we walk by his house.

"See ya." He calls back.

*SLAM*

Wait for it...3...2...1...

*WHUMP*

"WHAT THE HELL DAD!?"

There it is.

As I continue heading back, I pickup the pace and start going over my preperations for future events. All the while, only one thought is standing out.

 **'I'll need to up my training. The circus is in town, and there is room for only one ringmaster.'**


End file.
